Monthly Archives: October 2014

Eid ul Adha OOTD


The featured image is Youngest’s expression of love prepared at school and presented to his family en masse on the maghrib of Day 1 Eid ul Adha (this year, all gifts were given at the very start of Eid ul Adha)

The image is taken by BH with his phone after salaat on our way to perform qurbani

May Allah swt accept our sacrifices


with this ring I…………………………

Today, one of my cohorts shared this online. I apologise in advance for not knowing who to credit with the author rights, but………read on

Characteristics of a Muslim Husband

What a Muslim husband should be like…

  1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for the best clothing? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (PBUH) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
  2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurts her feelings.
  3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day – which brings no attention from the husband – until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
  4. If you see wrong from your wife, don’t try to change every single imperfection she has about her.

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

Woman is like a rib. When you attempt to straighten it, you would break it. And if you leave her alone you would benefit by her, and crookedness will remain in her. [Muslim]

  1. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Hadeeth when the Prophet (PBUH) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even when he was fasting.
  2. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
  3. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
  4. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (PBUH) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
  5. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (PBUH) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
  6. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (PBUH): ‘The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.’ Try to be the best!

Never forget to make ‪‎Dua to ‪Allah (swt) to make your marriage successful.

I did

Daily Prompt: Ready, Set, Done
Our weekly free write is back: take ten minutes — no pauses! — to write about anything, unfiltered and unedited. You can publish the post as – is, or edit a bit first — your call.

There is always diversity in traditions based sometimes on geographical origins, sometimes on strength of imposer, sometimes authenticity to root sources, and sometimes evolution of culture by displacement of time and place.

Almost two decades ago, I participated with eagerness in tradition, when I married BH in an Islamic ceremony at the Hall in San Fernando. For us, (well, my family and I since BH was a 6-month revert with little tradition in muslim marriages to draw from), that meant a nikah by proxy, followed by a walimah. Yeah, that sounds about right, isn’t that how all muslim marriages are conducted? Hmmm, well in its barest essentials, yes. But complexity is sometimes in the details.

I dressed, was driven by my female hijabi friend (the original hijabista I have always felt), and accompanied by my maternal aunt (of Hajj accompaniment last year) and my girl friend, to the mosque, where I reaffirmed my faith, and awaited the arrival of my wakil and the groom’s two witnesses (friends to this day). Wakil – Younger Brother (who as youngest, married first, we did this thing in reverse in my family, I went next, then Elder Bro, and Eldest Sister remained unmarried until death did her part), who asked if I accepted him as my wakil and if I accepted BH as my husband and if I accepted the dowry (only part of which still fits but which is all mine!). I did, and did, and did, and did (one question was asked thrice). Wakil and groom’s witnesses left and I exited accompanied by my three (or was it two?) into the waiting car to be driven around the block to the entrance of the Hall where I made my grand entrance on the arm of my father after finding my just turned one year old Niece who learnt to walk just in time to walk ahead of me down (or up) that aisle. I mounted the steps to where BH, bedecked in a green double-breasted suit and cream paghri (turban o neophytes), awaited me on the balloon-arched stage in front of the airbrushed depiction of our names above Jasmine’s (hmmm, was there some Freudian lisp in middle-naming Eldest Niece and BD?) castle in the clouds. When he greeted me and waited for me to seat myself on the chair (throne?), the sire-endowed bracelet of gold upon my wrist escaped (my aunt has forever sworn that this was symbolic…..and maybe it was). Now, it gets a little fuzzy here, and I have no videotape player or converter of videotape to disc of any sort, but mayhaps wakil was then asked thrice by our marriage officer (my teacher) whether he had questioned me and what were my responses, and thence the witnesses whether they agreed with what he had said (how much I owe YB) (hmmm, now I can’t remember just what BH did say and when:(). And thence was delivered the marriage khutbah as it was in the days of the Rasool saws, and in the presence of both bride and groom. The end. Well, it wasn’t, for then ensued speeches (would you believe Elder Bro suggested that I couldn’t boil H2O?), and instrument-less songs, dua’s, and food, and cake, a chocolate-cake enriched honeymoon in Tobago, and……….spousal living. My mother said that she felt that I had never smiled as much as I did that day.