In this very comprehensive article on qurbani, the author states that it is proper for a woman to slaughter her own animal, and that in fact, if she is able to carry out the Dhabah (slaughtering) correctly, it will be better for her to sacrifice her own animal.
The following is the hadith of Rasool saws which supports that there is no prohibition against a female performing the slaughter of an animal:
ان امراة، ذبحت شاة بحجر، فسيل النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم عن ذلك، فامر باكلها
A lady slaughtered a sheep with a stone and then the Prophet (ﷺ) was asked about it and he permitted it to be eaten.
Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) reported in his Saheeh from `Ubayd-Allah from Nafi`, that he (Nafi`) heard Ibn Ka`b ibn Malik narrating from his father that they used to have sheep which they allowed to graze on mount Sala’ in Madinah: a slave-women noticed that one of the sheep was dying, so she broke a stone and slaughtered it. He said: “Do not eat it until I ask the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) or I send someone to ask him. So he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), or sent someone else to ask, and he told him to eat it. `Ubay-Allah said: “I liked the fact that she was a slave-woman and yet she managed to slaughter it.”
Commenting on this hadith, Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “This shows that it is permissible to eat meat slaughtered by a woman, whether she is free or a slave, old or young, Muslim or from the People of the Book (Jewish or Christian), in a state of purity or otherwise, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told them to eat the meat she had slaughtered and did not ask for further details.”
This year, when Maulana summoned one of my children to perform the slaughter, Youngest shied away from the cow, stating that he preferred to start with a sheep. BD stepped forward and performed the slaughter herself. May Allah swt be pleased with her and accept her and our udhiyaa.
Squeamishness aside, NoS has been apathetic towards personally slaughtering the sacrificial animal on Eid ul Adha, and this year, has exhorted his desire to have it performed overseas and the meat distributed to those in need there. My own view is that as much as possible, we should be physically and actively involved in the sacrifice. Differing views aside, I came across the following hadith on this site:-
Hadhrat Abu Saeed Khudri (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that once on the occasion of qurbani The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) said to his daughter Fatima (Radhiyallahu anha):
“O Fatima! Stand near your qurbani animal and witness its sacrifice, for verily every drop of blood is forgiveness for your past sins.”
She then inquired:
O Prophet of Allah! Is this virtue specially for us, the Ahle Bait (Family of Rasool), or is it for the entire Ummat?
The Prophet upon whom be peace replied:
“It is for us as well as for the rest of the Ummat.”
It is narrated that Umm ‘Atiyah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said:
“We were commanded (and in one report it says, he commanded us – meaning the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) to bring out to the Eid prayers the adolescent girls and the women in seclusion, and he commanded the menstruating women to avoid the prayer-place of the Muslims.”
This year, we invited friends to join with us yesterday, to partake of the Qurbani meat (beef from the cow slaughtered by BD). So while I have much to my chagrin, no photos of the decor (inclusive of a beautiful rose gold foil Eid Mubarak banner loaned by Sister R, beneath the eave of a pink & purple striped canopy set above pink covered tables dressed with silver bottles from whence sprang darker pink fronds of glitter), I can share photos of the sweets – mousse made by BD, caramel blondies & chocolate cupcakes topped with homemade marshmallow frosting made by BD, sour cream crumb cake made by BD, cheesecake made by Sister S, our neighbour, coconut cake squares made by Sister W of Halalicious Treats, & an unnamed absolutely deliciously dreamy concoction by Sister S, mother of 3 girls. With ice cream – caramel toffee, strawberry, coffee mocha & chocolate. Friends came, and stayed, and all seemed content.
The Mustahab (best) method of distributing qurbani meat is to divide it into three equal parts. One part should be given to the poor, one part to one’s relatives and friends and one part retained for one’s own family.
It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar (radi Allahu anhu) said that ‘Umar (radi Allahu anhu) took a brocade cloak that was for sale in the market and brought it to the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam), and said, “O Messenger of Allah, buy this and adorn yourself with it for Eid and for receiving the delegations.” The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said to him, “Rather this is the dress of one who has no share (of piety or of reward in the Hereafter)…” [Sahih al-Bukhari]
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) agreed with ‘Umar (radi Allahu anhu) on the idea of adorning oneself for Eid, but he denounced him for choosing this cloak because it was made of silk.
It was narrated that Jaabir (radi Allahu anhu) said: The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) had a cloak which he would wear on the two Eids and on Fridays. [Saheeh Ibn Khuzaymah, 1756]
Al-Bayhaqi (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated with a sahih isnaad that Ibn ‘Umar (radi Allahu anhu) used to wear his best clothes on Eid.
A few years ago, I discovered Eid Creations online and slavered over their lines. I ordered & the dinner plates, dessert plates, napkins, paper lantern packs, Eid Mubarak swirls, & cupcake liners & tags, were delivered to BH. I’ve hung some of the lanterns & swirls and every year since have taken out the plates etc looked at them, and put them back. This year, they stayed out, and were put out to be used.
Sister N also gifted me with some ultra think LED string lights which were the perfect replacement solution for the LED candle in the huge blue vase (alas, no pictures to show). The blue lights atop the gate were the lights I bought for independence last year (our 50th) which we never got around to stringing.
I know, it sounds weird. and I have a non-Muslim friend who is adamant that Eid should only be celebrated with Indian food. (To be fair, on Eid day, we did prepare at home lamb vindaloo, pumpkin, stir fried shrimp & paratha & dhalpuri.)
However, the following day, we hosted a very impromptu backyard Eid barbecue at home. Fortunately, our friends were all amenable to what were very last minute invitations:).
Our menu was uncomplicated – macaroni pie, potato salad, barbecued chicken. Friends brought a chicken, a green salad, cole slaw, & added to our servings of garlic bread. Another friend, Sister N, who is holidaying here on her annual retreat to Barbados, brought hot dogs & burgers, and buns. We were able to source homemade pizza to add to the menu as we had some vegetarians and milk-allergic invitees, as well as some lamb sausage – so an unbaked cheese pizza to which BD added the lamb sausage, a cheeseless chicken pineapple & onion pizza, and a vegetarian pizza. Homemade lemonade & sorrel, and Barbados’ Plus & Malt drinks.
The dessert table offered varieties of sweetmeats including BD’s baked goods, a Muslim friendly great cake & coconut bread from L, and oodles of other sweet baked goods. (And I have NO pictures of that central table, sob).
Guests came, and stayed. And even anti-social Youngest softened enough to invite a friend other than the one that BD invited for him without his consent. Alhamdulillah for a soothing relaxed blessed Eid ul Fitr with families and friends.
Our usual first stop after BH’s family on Eid day is Aunty F. We’ve been visiting on Eid day for possibly all of my married life in Barbados. This year, we were treated more formally by being excluded from the more expansive kitchen, but were treated to this backdrop of colour made and put together by the eldest granddaughter (whose jingle jangle notifications of her appearance as a child in the corridors of the old home still resonate with BH).